Sexual Sovereignty & Rewilding the Body (with Dr. Saida Desilets)
Share this episode:
In This Episode
Rahi welcomes Dr. Saida Desilets, who holds a PhD in Human Sexuality and founded Sexual Sovereignty, created the Embodied Psychosexual Method, leads Embodied Love University, and wrote The Emergence of the Sensual Woman and Desire. Saida shares how her understanding of sovereignty took root early: growing up on a First Nations reservation in Canada in a home that sheltered women leaving abuse, and later choosing a path of life and pleasure after a serious pelvic illness at 20. Her method grew from that healing and was refined through decades of teaching women.
Listeners learn why Saida sees arousal and pleasure as markers of healthy tissue and nervous system function, and why she believes shame often lives in the meaning we attach to them. She describes erotic innocence, the gray zone between switched off and switched on, and relaxed arousal, a state of being awake and aroused while the body stays soft and spacious. She explains rewilding retreats held in silence in nature, offers a receptive and active lens instead of rigid masculine and feminine polarity, and shares simple daily practices: breathing, noticing what feels good, and naming what you want. Together they explore how leaning into discomfort during intimacy, with breath and honest words, can build trust.
Dr. Saida’s links:
Today’s Guest:
What You’ll Learn About Sexual Sovereignty & Embodiment
Saida shares how growing up without sexual shame gave her an early experience of erotic innocence — and how culture later tried to suppress it.
She recounts being told she had two weeks to live at age twenty and how that moment sparked her lifelong commitment to vitality, pleasure, and choosing life.
We explore the birth of “sexual sovereignty” and why reclaiming authority over your body is foundational to healing.
Saida reframes arousal and pleasure as clinical markers of health rather than something taboo or inappropriate.
The conversation reveals how relaxed arousal — not performance or intensity — is the true ground of deep, connected lovemaking.
She explains how wilderness “rewilding” restores our pre-verbal sensual intelligence and makes us more attuned lovers and partners.
We unpack how shame disconnects people from their life force — and how sensual awareness dissolves it naturally.
Saida describes how leaning toward discomfort during intimacy, instead of avoiding it, can transform pain into trust and pleasure.
We examine how breath, attention, and noticing small moments of “yum” can radically shift our relationship to everyday life and sexuality.
Ultimately, this episode invites listeners to see pleasure not as luxury or indulgence, but as the body’s most direct expression of aliveness.
Go Deeper: Related Articles
Common Questions About This Episode
What is sexual sovereignty?
Sexual sovereignty is the approach Dr. Saida Desilets founded around reclaiming full ownership of one’s body, pleasure and expression. Her sense of it took root in childhood, when her family home sheltered women leaving abuse, and deepened through her own healing at 20. Her Embodied Psychosexual Method grew from that journey and decades of teaching women.
What is relaxed arousal?
Dr. Saida Desilets describes relaxed arousal as being alive, aroused and awake while the body remains soft and spacious. She observes that many people, especially those with a dysregulated nervous system, believe they must be either fully aroused or fully relaxed. She sees the combination as the doorway to deeper embodiment and connection.
What does rewilding mean for sexuality?
In Dr. Saida Desilets’ work, rewilding means spending time in nature, often in silence and without phones, attuning to the wild and to what she calls the prelingual self. She shares that this attunement carries into intimacy, and that lovemaking after time in nature tends to feel more present and vibrant.
Is it normal to become aroused during a massage or pelvic exam?
Dr. Saida Desilets says arousal in these settings reflects healthy blood flow and nervous system function, and that much of the shame comes from the meaning attached to it. When she practiced non-genital sensual massage, she told clients their arousal was welcome and healthy without acting on it, and she believes clinicians could affirm it too.
Go Deeper Into This Work
If this conversation is stirring something in you, Rahi’s Reclaiming Your Pleasure takes you into the body-based practices that support this kind of reclamation – moving shame, restoring aliveness, and expanding your capacity for pleasure in your own body.
A guided pathway to reconnect with your body, restore sensitivity, and awaken your innate capacity for pleasure.
Explore More On Erotic Embodiment & Sexual Awakening
This conversation is part of a
deeper body of work on
Related Episodes on Erotic Embodiment & Sexual Awakening:
Featured Episodes
With Some of the Wisest Somatic Sexologists in the Field
Dr. Aline LaPierre
Creator of Neuroaffective Touch Therapy and author of Healing Developmental Trauma
Susanne Roursgaard
Devi Ward Erickson
Dr. Liam Snowdon
Kimberly Ann Johnson
Dr. Ellen Heed
Keli Garza
Kris Gonzalez, L.Ac.
"Coocky" Tassanee Boonsom
Dr. Betty Martin
About This Podcast & Your Host
We explore the restoration of pleasure, the reclamation of sexual sovereignty, and the realization of our organic sexual wholeness. We engage with leading somatic therapists, sexologists & sexological bodyworkers, and holistic practitioners worldwide who provide practical wisdom from hands-on experiences of working with clients and their embodied sexuality. We invite a deep listening to the organic nature of the body, its sexual essence, and the bounty of wisdom embodied in its life force.
Rahi Chun
Certified Somatic Sex Educator & Sexological Bodyworker
Rahi is fascinated by the intersection of sexuality, psychology, spirituality and their authentic embodiment. Based in Los Angeles, he is an avid traveler and loves exploring cultures, practices of embodiment, and healing modalities around the world.
